You probably thought I was going to give you the rest of my vacation update. Foiled! We'll get back to that - in lieu of today's timeliest event.
Who got up at 4:30am this morning in order to make a 5:00am Royal Wedding Viewing Party?
That's correct. This numb nut.
And while I can't be sure that any dudes at all read this blog - I'm guessing that if there is even one, he has just had one of the best eye rolls known to, well, man.
Men around the world are shaking their heads in bewilderment this morning.
I'm shaking my head too, actually - it's full of cobwebs from that early wake up call.
Dear Prince Harry,
A few thoughts.
When you marry, please do it on a Saturday.
Also, late in the day would be preferable to those of us in America.
Also, I'm available.
So why do we do it? Why get up before sunrise and get fully prepped - tiara and all - to gather with a gaggle?
Because any and every girl in this world - whether they admit it or not - wants to marry some version of Prince Charming.
No one sets out to marry Prince I'm-a-Loser or Prince Sometimes-I-Lie or Prince Hey-Did-I-Tell-You-I'm-Married? or Prince Man-My-Personality-Changed-Once-I-Said-I-Do. Well, you get the idea.
In our girlhood fantasies, there is a big white puffy dress, a carriage, a set of perfect bridesmaids who still like you come the big day - all assembled in front of a variety of beautiful people (think of those old Benetton ads) under a Carolina Blue sky. Not too humid, not to windy, no sign of rain except for some random rainbow appearing at picture time just over the head of a wandering unicorn (where'd that come from?).
And if Kate the Kommoner can do it - then why can't the rest of us fantasize about it?
And who better to share your dreams with than a bunch of your buddies with a pile of crumpets on hand?
Of course, there are only a few brave souls daring enough to suggest a 5am party - but you all know one or two. Those people who only need the mere suggestion of a reason to host a gathering before dashing out a quick Evite luring folks to their homes.
Get up at 3am to prep said house - done! Just not at my house. My house would have had nothing that looked like this: